CAN THIS MARRIAGE BE SAVED?
Ladies Home Journal On-Line
"HE HIT ME"
JOHN'S TURN, Part Two:
"I dated a lot of women but no one I ever considered marrying until I met Nina. The first time I saw her she was in the middle of a group of people at a party, laughing. That's what I remember most about the times when we started dating, that beautiful laugh. I had never felt so comfortable with another person. It's hard to even remember the way we used to be and impossible to think that our lives could have disintegrated like this.
I know I'm not an easy guy to live with, and I've always been too physical, but Nina is no angel. She gives as good as she gets. She baits me. Maybe I don't help as much around the house as I should, but I feel she overlooks the things I do. Her complaints ring in my ears from the moment she walks in the door--pick up your clothes, clean the fish tank, stop tracking dirt in the house. She's like a broken tape recorder. I can feel my teeth clenching and my ears getting hot when she calls me names that would make you blush. She also mimics me and then screams at me to get out of the house. That pushes all the same buttons my dad used to. I'm not going to take that attitude from anyone ever again--certainly not from my wife.
Thanksgiving was a perfect example of how Nina takes a small incident and lights a match to it. I didn't want to work on the holiday any more than she wanted me to--but, hey, it's my job. I'm the manager of a gourmet grocery store and when the owner asks me to pitch in, I feel it's my responsibility to do it. I'm going to get paid for the overtime, which we could use--and besides, these guys are my friends. Why create waves when I have to work twelve hours a day with these people? If I make a stink, it only generates ill will.
Well, Nina went ballistic. She called me at work and started screaming so loudly I had to hold the phone a foot from my ear. It was embarrassing. Everyone in the store heard me getting scolded; she told me not to bother coming home. After we closed that night, my friend Will suggested I have a beer with him and cool down before going home. That's what I had--one beer--but as soon as I got to her mother's house, Nina accused me of getting drunk. We continued the argument at home. She smacked me across the face, started hammering me with her fists, and then said she was going to call the police and have me locked up for driving under the influence. That's when I lost it.
Yes, spending the night in jail knocked some sense into my head. I have no excuses for my behavior. I was wrong and I want to change. But we can't have a marriage unless she changes, too.
Nina's Turn, Part Two
Nina's Turn, Part Three
John's Turn, Part One
John's Turn, Part Two
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