CAN THIS MARRIAGE BE SAVED?
Ladies Home Journal On-Line
"HE HIT ME"
JOHN'S TURN, Part One:
"My love for my daughter is the only reason I'm here, too. Nina always threatens to take Kelly away from me, and I know I couldn't bear that. She's the only good that has ever happened to me.
I was the youngest of four kids. My father was fifty when I was born--I was definitely an accident--and he retired from the police force when I was nine. That meant he was home a lot more than when my older brothers were little. Dad was an old-fashioned, old-world kind of guy, and he thought I was out of control, rude and defiant. Look, I was certainly no Boy Scout, but I was no worse than my brothers were. Dad used to bellow, 'The others were never like this,' and my mother would always insist, 'Yes they were; you just didn't see it because you weren't here.'
To be honest, my father was a brute, and I was scared of him. He was always screaming at my mother and me, and when he was really angry, he'd come after me with a stick or a belt. By the time I was a teenager, we were warring constantly. Though I managed to get decent grades, I don't remember ever getting his approval or thinking that he was proud of me. Mostly, he complained I was hanging out with kids he didn't like.
My mother was very sweet but pretty helpless when it came to dealing with my father. She tried to defend me from his outbursts, and that created a lot of problems between the two of them. As soon as I graduated from high school, I got a job at the local grocery store, and moved into an apartment with one of my older brothers. I never took another penny from my father again. He died five years ago and I can't say I was sorry. My mother and I are still close, though."
DR. PAUL MOSCHETTA:
"Here's a good example of how past experiences can affect our present actions and attitudes. The overriding influence in John's life had been his relationship with his hostile father, who he was forever trying to avoid, yet with whom he inevitably locked horns. John's mother tried as best as she could to keep the peace, and she indulged her son out of sight of her husband, but she never had the strength to stand up to her husband. Unfortunately, violence seemed like such an ordinary and inevitable part of life that she continued to excuse her son's behavior toward Nina."
Nina's Turn, Part Two
Nina's Turn, Part Three
John's Turn, Part One
John's Turn, Part Two
Dr. Moschetta's Comments
