When To Call It Quits:
Fatal Signs Of A Marriage In Jeopardy
Ellen Mansoor Collier
Biography Magazine February 1999
IF
• The pain consistently outweighs the pleasure and joy in your relationship.
• The same patterns of unhappiness continue despite your best efforts to change them.
• The "in love" feeling is permanently gone; you've lost your passion or sexual desire.
• These feelings continue after you've worked hard with a professional counselor to understand yourself and your relationship.
WARNING SIGNALS
• Constant bickering and competition between partners.
• Accumulated pain and anger that never really goes away.
• A lack of trust that puts a knot in the pit of your stomach.
• Unwillingness to go out of your way to pleasure one another.
• Feeling relieved when the other person isn't around.
• Being the recipient of nonstop faultfinding, criticism, and blame.
WORST MISTAKES
• Taking each other-and your relationship-for granted.
• Harboring angry feelings without discussing them.
• Forcing your partner to fit an idealized image rather than accepting him or her as is.
• Having to be always right; insisting on always "having your way" or being in control.
• Adultery/being unfaithful.
COMMON DANGER ZONES: STRESSFUL LIFE EVENTS
• Having a child/differences in child-rearing.
• Buying a house.
• Career transitions.
• Losing a job/financial problems.
• Chronic illness.
• Family/in-law problems.
